


Presumptions Were Made

by ImfictionWriting



Series: The Feather [3]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Babyfic, Demon Steel Science Experiment, F/M, Family, Featherpreg, Friendship, Hell, Post-Season/Series 04, Pregnancy, Sadness, The Silver City (Lucifer TV), presumptions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:35:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24471403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImfictionWriting/pseuds/ImfictionWriting
Summary: Two weeks later and Dan is still not talking with them.  Linda supports Maze as she continues to reel from being left behind.  Chloe helps Linda as best she can while missing Lucifer.Finally Chloe discusses The Feather and is shocked by the response.And shocked most of all is Lucifer who is now, after all this time, beginning to understand.
Relationships: Amenadiel/Linda Martin (Lucifer TV), Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Series: The Feather [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1749220
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	Presumptions Were Made

**Author's Note:**

> Lucifer TV Show Characters not mine. Originals are. Just having fun.
> 
> Part Three of a Five Part Story.
> 
> All constructive criticism will be thoughtfully considered with a great deal of thanks in advance.  
> Please tell me of any and all oopsies. I do hope someone finds this entertaining.
> 
> Trigger warning at end notes.

**Los Angeles, Earth**

Life didn't return to normal in the first few months after Lucifer left. For those who loved him it never would as long as he was in Hell.

Chloe was mostly numb, trying to carry on the best she could. Trixie was sad and prone to moodiness but coping with the resilience of a child. Dan, until the events of the week prior, was ignorant to the truth and indifferent to Lucifer's leaving. His attitude had since changed and he was now studiously avoiding everyone he didn't have to work with or parent. Still.

Amenadiel was angry 'He did something to The Gates!' He would cry and shout and rage each time he attempted to see his brother in Hell . His siblings wouldn't answer his prayers and even The Gates to the Silver City were now shut to him. Charmiene, Gavreel and Cassiel who were taking turns guarding them tried to reassure Amenadiel that all would eventually be well and to trust them, to trust Father. He wasn't reassured. At all.

Ella Lopez was struggling with the knowledge that her friend and platonic big brother had been forced to go to that horrid place to protect them all. She could not reconcile Lucifer's sacrifice with her ideal of God and Angels. She couldn't for the life of her figure out why, with all the siblings Amenadiel had informed her he and Lucifer shared, they would not organize a rotational system where they each managed hell for a day or two and let Lucifer come home to them! Surely among the thousands of them they could figure this shit out and Lucifer could return. Ella's prayers had progressed from before knowing, seeking the safety of her friends and family, to after beseeching God to get His Children's asses into gear and help Lucifer!

No one was interested in a tribe night or in any other type of festive get together since the pool and barbecue Quarter Birthday turned 'Surprise' Party. But they found other ways to still be together. Ella had been texting and playing online games with Trixie and hanging out at lunch time with Chloe and sometimes Dan at work. Ella thought she had figured out the best bonding 'sesh' with Maze when she realized she could 'science the shit' out of Mazes' knives but Maze didn't want to do any more tests.

Maze was pissed! Irate that the demons would dare defy their Lord and equally mad that Lucifer had left her on Earth and angry that she actually wanted to stay on Earth and how dare he presume without asking! Did he forget about her? Ignore her? Was he still Angry with her? And damn it, if Ellen didn't stop talking about it and trying to hug her all the time she'd be showing her up close and personal what Demon Steel stria-whatever the fuck on bone would look like under the damn microscope. And she wouldn't be needing a damn microscope!

Linda was alternatively terrified and sad for Lucifer as she knew how he hated Hell having spent so much time telling her repeatedly how horrible it was over the last four years. Lately she was also worried that Maze was going to, accidentally, kill Ella.

Since the start of her career Linda had experienced the challenge of being a therapist professionally and advice giver and friend personally and since befriending Maze had needed to balance that fine line especially well. Thankfully Ella had stopped with the experiments because she didn't think she could handle another event like two days prior. Ella had arrived at her home lugging an entire pig hind leg, “Human analogue”, she'd said. Maze clearly thought she was mad. Linda had the front row view, rather side on and could clearly see both their faces as Maze stood at one side of her kitchen island, blade in hand and previously innocent pork part on her large chopping block. Ella seemed excited to see the spectacle of what started as rhythmic chopping, but quickly turned into speed mincing. The blade slicing through meat, fat, gristle and bone like butter. Ella never once looked up at the demon. If she had she would have seen what Linda had seen, at first one eyebrow raised and a smirk indicating her ridicule but it had morphed into anger and finally all glamour had been discarded and it was Maze likely imagining cutting into something, most likely someone, else.

“Maze”, Linda had spoken, standing up from leaning against the door jam.

“Isn't she amazing?” Ella had said looking between Linda and the remains of the meat.

Maze wiped down her blade with the kitchen towel on the bench and turned around moving to the door, blade raised above her shoulder in a wave as she left out the rear door “Later bitches”.

Ella missing all the subtext was wrapping up what was left of her 'experiment'. “Sorry Linda, I think this cutting board has seen it's last ham!”. Linda leaned forward to view parts of the solid hardwood cutting board that had been turned into saw dust among the once larger end of the leg that now looked exactly like ground hamburger meat. She had used that cutting board for over twenty two years, since buying it at a country market that she and her ex-husband Reese had chanced upon when they traveled up the coast for a weekend. Back when they did that sort of thing. Linda hadn't thought about that period of her life in a very, very long time.

“Just take it with you, it's alright”, she sighed.

“She's just so... so fierce!” Ella said grinning, wrapping everything up in plastic, board and all then wiping down the bench. “I gotta get this to my lab, best day off ever!” She gave Linda a quick hug and picked up the board, “Bye Linda, give the 'lil guy a hug from me when he wakes up, sorry I dropped by at nap time. Say bye to Maze for me?”

“Will do, bye Ella.” Linda replied as Ella saw herself out.

Linda gazed around her kitchen, she was sure she could see pieces of ground pork on the ceiling, sighed again then went out into the back garden where Maze was sitting down on a chair at the table near the grill skillfully flipping her favored blade. While everyone missed Lucifer Maze, who had known him most of her life, was understandably having the hardest time. So far she hadn't been talking about it. Like all of them, she had tried to accept and carry on. But Linda suspected today would be the day she opened up.

“Ella thinks you are amazing, Maze.” Linda said sitting down on the side of Maze away from the spinning blade.

Maze rolled her eyes so exaggeratedly, that on any ordinary human that act would likely cause their eyes to fall out. She looked to her friend, “Damn right I'm amazing. I'm fucking amazing!” She stabbed her blade into the wooden table.

Linda sighed again which made Maze immediately presume Linda was angry with her. “Hey don't blame me your outside furniture is shit!” She pulled the blade out of the table and started scratching away at the layer of peeling varnish on the wood.

Linda raised her hands in a placating gesture. “It IS shit, Maze” Linda chuckled, agreeing with her. “Well it wasn't shit ten years ago, but it's faded from the sun,” Linda looked to the pool furniture and shade cloth over one end of the pool, “I think I should revamp the whole area, maybe get a landscape designer in. This is all from the old house and was in storage a couple years. If Charlie is going to keep dive-bombing into the pool, I'd like some higher fencing and some sort of screen to stop the neighbors seeing in...”

“I'd stab them in the eyes if they dared” Maze flipped her blade around and then stabbed the table again, “you really do need new outside furniture...”

“Yeah well I definitely do now!”, the second knife wound to the wood slat had pierced all the way through. Linda pointed at the blade sticking out of the table. Maze rolled her eyes, removed the blade and stored it somewhere on her body. Linda had long stopped even trying to rationalize where Maze stored those blades given the skin tight clothes she tended to wear. “The outside furniture is hardly 'iconic'.” Linda chuckled at that.

Maze had been listening to music and grilling to very well-done at the time and had not heard the whole iconic conversation at Charlie's party, “Huh?”

“You missed that bit.”

Maze took a deep breath, “I'm...I'm...”, Maze winced, “...sad? I missed Charlie diving into the pool...”, Maze always had trouble expressing her emotions, but Linda was honestly quite proud that her friend had been able to communicate this feeling so accurately. “All I saw was the, aughhhhh, aughhhhh!!” She laughed exaggerating the sounds Dan had made when he'd had the second panic attack when he saw Maze after he had woken from the first time he had fainted . “Hart...tack....aughhh” she giggled some more.

“It really was quite terrifying Maze, he's only a baby...”

“Dan?...” she laughed again.

“Charlie, ...he only learned how to roll over and sit up a month ago, he is much more advanced than a …regular baby” Linda tried so hard not to use the word 'normal' when comparing Charlie with other babies. After all Charlie was a perfectly normal human-angel baby. Even if he was the only example . “We had no idea he has wings, let alone Dan. He really is a good Father and a great Uncle to Charlie...”

“Huh,” Maze grimaced, “if he ever comes back. Besides I'm a way better Auntie. I'm amazing remember?” Her grin didn't last long however and she looked away to the fence line a moment before looking back down to the table, this time scratching the peeling veneer with a nail. “Linda?”, her voice was quiet now, “if I'm so amazing, why did he leave me behind, why did he forget about me?” She raised her head looking up to her friend.

It was very rare event that made Mazikeen of the Lilim look vulnerable.

Linda took a deep breath and her hand hovered over her friends. She knew that it was only if her Demon friend had been given warning that she would accept comfort. Maze didn't move her hand away, Linda curled her fingers around her friends warm hand. Linda took a deep breath and a moment to look to the pool over her friends shoulder, then swallowed and looked into Maze's eyes.

“I think,” she swallowed again, “I think he did think about you, he thought about all of us...”

“But, I...”

“I think that, you are the best... are the only one who could keep us all safe. Charlie, Trixie, Chloe and me. Amenadiel would fight for us if there was a Demon, or some Celestial Threat. Chloe would do what she could, but she's a police officer... There are legal considerations... Only you would be able to do what... needs to be done if the danger is human. You also know more than Amenadiel about how Demons... behave, how they fight. And if it is was Celestial, the ...danger, you wouldn't be worried that it's your brother or sister you were defeating.” Linda squeezed her friends hand again and leaned further forward, “Maze if he had asked you, what would you have chosen?”

Maze pulled her hand away crossing her arms over her chest.

“I swore to always be with him...”

Linda leaned back in the chair, “Lucifer, he said he...released...I think that's the word he said, released you from that...vow.”

“He did, but... I... I would have ...stayed. I would have stayed, but he, he didn't ask me.” Maze leaned back raising the heels of her hands to her forehead and then throwing her hands in the air and back down to the slam on the table. At the last moment tempering her anger to slap but not slam down onto its surface. “He should have told me Linda, he should have asked me, ...he should have told me, said ...goodbye.”

“I think he was scared that if he had, he wouldn't be able to leave. He felt he had to leave.”

Maze nodded. “They would keep coming back, they wouldn't stop.” Nothing would stop a Lilim in a fight but death. Maze felt no familial ties to her Lilim siblings. Just the way her Mother had taught them. Her Mother had been a real Bitch, the first and only living human to have been sent to Hell. Unloving, uncaring. Hate and loathing had consumed her. Maze couldn't help wondering at times what would have happened if she had been alive when Lucifer had arrived. But she had angered Lucifer's Father so much she had had been destroyed completely and smote so thoroughly Hell was still experiencing the fall out. And Maze and the others hadn't cared about their Mother's death. But they had hated God for it. Until Maze had spent time on Earth and she had realized that perhaps she did care about the lack of love from her Mother. Being around humans that loved and cared for each other, even for Maze, was confusing and had undoubtedly changed her. These changes frightened her in a way Hell never could.

“But Lucifer can stop them can't he?” This time when Linda's hand reached towards Maze's, Maze turned her hand, and their fingers held true. Maze nodded. “He's stronger now isn't he? I saw his wings, not his Angel wings, his ...Devil Wings.” Linda stretched her free hand away from her side, “They're huge...”

“A lot of him is.” Maze added. They smirked at each other, knowing exactly what she were referring to.

“I think he is stronger now too, he isn't just angry, but all his emotions make him stronger, he is fighting for us now too, not just himself.” Maze smiled and nodded agreeing with her friend.

Later that day when Linda was alone looking down at her sleeping son she marveled at the changes that occurred weekly as his personality emerged. The days were passing so quickly and soon, she was sure, he would be cutting teeth and maybe even standing.

Linda couldn't help worrying about her child. He was a big baby growing fast in the top percentile on all charts, much to Amenadiel's delight. But, he had wings. What if they were in the supermarket and they would suddenly appear? Would he be able to go to school? She was fearful now about taking him to his pediatric and baby care appointments. He was half human and needed his vaccines. What if his wings popped out when the nurse tried to give him his shot? Did he actually need shots? What if he caught the measles? She didn't want him to become infertile or deaf just because she was too scared for him to be vaccinated.

Should she be happy he has wings and more likely to have an Angels constitution? Would he bounce if she dropped him? Or should she feel sad that he was always going to be separate from his human peers? Since the emergence of Charlie's wings, they had chosen to stop attending the new parents class they had been going to. That was a good thing though, some of those young know-it-all mothers were a bunch of bitches. Linda was all for free thought and free speech, but anyone who thought bottle feeding a baby meant you weren't a real mother was an idiot. And there had been this one women who was convinced that Charlie wasn't her 'real' biological son. As if it was anyone’s business if they had used donor eggs, or a surrogate or as in their case had a most-likely miracle baby. The constant talk about her age, that she only ever heard in whispers, was aggravating. Amenadiel had needed to walk away.

Without the new parents group Linda had no 'fully human' baby examples to compare Charlie to and off course no fully angel babies existed either.

Amenadiel was friends with Dan and would often meet up for drinks and a chat, Dan would be supportive but ultimately had nothing to advise about Charlie but that was before the pool party. Maze thought that Charlie and Trixie were the best children in existence, ever, and anyone who indicated otherwise would be disemboweled and defenestrated – the order to be decided on the day. Linda and Amenadiel decided the best course of action was to just take things day by day.

Within her small group of friends and family it was Chloe who Linda sought the most for parental advice as naturally she was the only other mother among them.

Chloe tried her hardest to be supportive but her experiences had been so different and that wasn't what her friend needed. Linda's fears were all so normal. Besides the wing issue. And what did Chloe know about that? She did her best to allay Linda's concerns, but ultimately thought it best to not discuss her own experiences which were in short, truly awful. Maybe later when Linda wasn't so flustered with the newness of Motherhood.

If Chloe had her way Trixie would never ever know of her own troubles and she did not talk about it in front of her, years ago making Dan and her own Mother agree to the reasons why. The last thing she wanted was for Trixie to feel that she was in any way the one to blame for any of it. Children tended to do that, blame themselves.

The memories for her of her pregnancy all the way to Trixie's first six months at home were a mess of remembered experiences. Intravenous drips after days and days of retching, vomiting and not being able to eat to the point of fainting. Stress and anxiety about possible side-effects of the medications she had to take and how they may affect her baby. Inability to work and the stress and guilt of the professional and financial costs when she had to go on leave early, burning through her accrued leave. Pain so much pain of the sudden and early, much too early, birth the tearing and stitches from the manipulation with no time for an epidural or surgery. The baby so very very small no matter how much the staff in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit tried to reassure them, the tubes, the wires and the translucent skin all told the real story to Chloe and Dan.

Then the infection that saw Chloe back to hospital again and having the dreaded drip back in her arm, this time needing a surgical procedure. They had been told that possible uterine scaring may prevent future pregnancies, as if that could possibly have been a concern at that time. Then the blood clot in her leg that led to months of self administration of anti-clotting injections to her belly.

The guilt of being THAT woman with the semi-famous breasts that were actually useless when really needed - the literal dairy free icing on the cake.

The only positive memory of that time in hospital, the short hours her and Dan were able to hold the baby, skin to skin wires and all. Oh how Trixie held on strong.

“Like a little monkey.” Dan had said one day. The nickname stuck.

Finally, finally being able to all go home – the true Miracle despite what her mother would tell any who listened - her Little Monkey had passed all the tests. All indication that there would be no harm from the therapies. Her heart, lungs, brain and gut all functioning as expected of a healthy babe. Still she was so small.

They got into a rhythm at home. Her and Dan were a team in the beginning and for the first few months they were exhausted from the expected short sleep times, but they'd had enough. It was the worry, the recurring tests and ongoing appointments that wore on them, but slowly they became more confident with each examination passed with positive results. Trixie's after hospital care program was downgraded and Chloe was preparing to return to work as expected with reduced shifts. Penelope would help when she could, they found a babysitter they trusted for the time in between shifts they could not cover. It would be difficult but manageable.

Then Trixie became sick. Inconsolable, the new pediatrician slow to order tests as her weight was initially stable. So very many sleepless nights, nights that Dan, the one who could earn more, had to sleep in the car as Chloe had to stay home and care for their baby. The struggle of one wage for the unexpected extended time, again. By then the house deposit they had spent years saving was gone. The money from all those stupid advertisements as a child, gone, from that stupid movie, gone. And money ostensibly borrowed from her Mother that couldn't be paid back also gone. Penelope had said not to worry about it as she would give anything for her precious grand-daughter. That was a very bitter pill for Dan to swallow. There were exhausted arguments. So many arguments.

The slight sweet and minty smell of the reflux medication they gave Trixie with the pipette the lasting indelible memory of when Chloe had finally, finally lifted from the 'fog', the horrible, 'truly fucking horrible' experience of pregnancy and Trixie's first six months. A doctor had suggested after it was over that perhaps she had post natal depression. Chloe fired back with maybe but you try vomiting for five months to the point of going to hospital multiple times then surviving premature birth and not sleeping more than three hours in a row for six months with all the valid worries they had. “We don't treat prisoners of war this way!” She'd said. The Doctor having nothing to add shrugged and turned away. Even Dan was disgusted at the attitude.

The next pediatrician they saw was a lot more sympathetic but in the end there were many reasons why Trixie was an only child.

Chloe often thought it was during that time that the seeds had been planted that took root at Palmetto Street. Among the male dominated work force at Homicide she had been indelibly viewed as high maintenance. She had walked in to hearing people gossip about it in the break room which hadn't helped her self esteem. She had fought to claw back her Professional standing and in many ways never really recovered until after she had been vindicated. Obviously her marriage had failed, and while Dan was a good friend and a great Dad, perhaps it had been that extended anxiety-fueled time of caring and protecting them that had set in motion the way he had behaved in both protecting her and then avoiding the fall out of shooting Malcolm. And why he felt he had to lie to her. As frustrating as Lucifer had been at the beginning it was so nice to have a partner that was eager to work with her. She had been somewhat disingenuous by saying she 'needed the eggs'. She had also needed the the friendship. The flirting had been a real ego boost too.

Chloe made sure she was supportive and available to Linda, took care of Charlie when needed, listened to her, held her hand and agreed that it was a tough job. At no point did she indicate how enormously jealous she was of Linda's experience so far. When Linda admitted she was most scared of people finding out about his wings. Chloe shared that her greatest fear had been falling asleep with the baby in bed and rolling over in the middle of the night and accidentally smothering her. Linda agreed that was a horrific fear. Chloe stopped there and didn't elaborate the fear had encompassed every prenatal appointment concerned there wouldn't be a heartbeat because of lack of nutrition from the vomiting, each phone call from the hospital while Trixie was in the NICU and then the Special Care Baby Unit. That every night at home the lack of machines and a steady beeping was unsettling, for months. It had gotten to the point that whenever Trixie wasn't crying it was a concern. Chloe wished she had never read about the greater risk of Sudden Infant Death in moderate preterm babies.

Part of a small area of Chloe's mind had spent years waiting for the other shoe to drop with Trixie, to find out there was a developmental or physical delay. Every school report waiting to discover there was a problem. She had quietly been scared for years.

It had taken weeks after the near poisoning of Lucifer, the stupidest moment of her life, that she realized that it had been the sleepless nights and the intense fear for her daughter that had triggered the flight response in her. When healthy and in a sane frame of mind she was an independent rational person. But in times of extreme stress she craved someone to take care of her, say it was all right. This time she didn't have Dan to rely on. Father Kinley had filled that niche. How could she have believed him? The simple answer was that when sane she wouldn't. When stressed out of her mind with fear she had been vulnerable to lies and manipulation. She was disgusted with her herself to think this was an ongoing pattern in her life.

She had been reeling from the betrayal by Marcus and the deeply unsettling idea that what she had thought was love was all lies. That the person she had thought she was making love with, who she was going to make a life with was a monster. She would never have slept with him if she had known. The level of deception Marcus, Cain, had enacted to make her believe in him, on some level that was a rape. He'd manipulated all of them, herself the most. All of it was a lie.

She had no time to analyze and work through that betrayal before the truth of Lucifer, the extreme stress had equated the actions of both men in her mind. For a time she hadn't been competent to take care of herself or her daughter. Never in a million years would she leave her baby with some stranger to look after her while she spent hours in a library in a foreign country researching myths. She hadn't even spoken the native language and yet she had left her. Chloe tried so hard not to think about that time. When she did she would feel nausea and deep shame. She had loved and trusted Lucifer for years and yet she had betrayed him. How he could forgive her she would never know.

Sleep, time and sanity brought clarity and she remembered who Lucifer was, who he had always been. She felt so much self hate and jealousy when Eve had returned to Lucifer's life. Many nights she had cried. She had needed to utilize all of her remaining acting abilities to present a veneer of unaffected calm during that time. She didn't think she would win any Oscars for her efforts. She had been so jealous.

Finally the time was right, she had told him the truth, she loved him. Lucifer had said she was his first love. Then he was gone.

She loved him and missed him intensely.

More often than not on the Weekends when Trixie was with Dan, Chloe would find herself at Linda's home. They found themselves gravitating towards each other. The only ones who knew the truth. Linda and Amenadiel (and Maze) appreciated the help with Charlie and Chloe needed something to do in the quiet times. This week-end Ella was on another date. Maze had returned from a successful bounty that morning. Charlie was propped up on Amenadiel's knee, wings extended and fidgeting. The movement of the wings similar to the intermittent shrugging of shoulders, however in this case Charlie's arms were extended forward reaching for more apple.

Chloe mentioned the feather she had found the day Lucifer had left and how it had dissolved. It didn't take a detective to notice the look shared between Maze and Amenadiel.

“What?” she asked narrowing her eyes at them, “what's that look mean?” Glaring from one to the other. Years of not being in the know putting her on edge about being left out over necessary information.

“Chloe, Angel feathers have the ability to heal the wounds of other angels, but it is unheard of that happening to a human.” Amenadiel said while lightly bouncing Charlie up and down on his knee.

“Yeah, but she's a miracle, so it could do anything.” Maze added, sitting on the couch next to Chloe, going back to using an impressive knife to peel and cut apple wedges for herself and Charlie when he reached forward with a grabbing hand for more after dropping the remnants of his first piece into his Fathers hand.

At 14 weeks of age Charlie was ahead of the expected feeding requirements for 'regular humans'. While he did not possess teeth as yet, they agreed they were not far away, he was always hungry. He ate cereals and mashed fruit and vegetables from a spoon. But he liked to hold and try to eat food also. Linda complained often it was obvious to her that his jaw was getting a lot stronger and his reflex to 'nip' while suckling had gotten so uncomfortable that she had to express then bottle feed and had also supplemented with formulas to extend his sleeping times.

Chloe frowned, “But I wasn't wounded” she looked back to Maze who was chewing on her apple, her eyes darted to Amenadiel who was reaching forward to his empty coffee cup to discard his son's gnawed on apple slice, “and what do you mean I'm a miracle?”

Linda, who was returning to the room after changing her blouse heard only the last part of the question and grimaced making eye contact with Amenadiel before sitting down on the sofa next to him. Charlie reached over to his Mom and Linda lifted him over to her lap “You're getting so big!” she smiled at her son before looking back at Chloe worriedly.

“Does everyone know what that means but me?” Chloe said, angry now. “You're not making any sense.”

Maze grinned and pointed her knife at Amenadiel “That's for you to explain, Daddy's Boy”. Then she turned to Chloe and with her hand curled around the handle of her knife fist bumped Chloe's nearest shoulder, firmly enough to make Chloe move away and rub her arm. “But hey, at least you don't have cancer any more!” She grinned.

“Maze!” Linda scolded.

At the same time Chloe said “What?” Standing up. “What the Hell Maze, what do you mean I had cancer?!”

“Well that's what you humans get don't you? The feather healed something and if you didn't have an obvious wound it would be something else wrong with you.”

“What?” Chloe said again staring at the others.

Linda was trying to give Maze the 'shut up' look as sensitivity wasn't an inherent trait in the Demon. Amenadiel was looking contrite.

“Chloe please sit down, Amenadiel will tell you, I'm sure Maze didn't really mean anything bad.” Linda gave Maze another pointed look over her glasses. Maze finally understood that look and rolled her eyes but didn't say anything else.

It was Linda stroking Charlie's wings that reminded Chloe that she had raised her voice with a child present and even though the baby wasn't distressed and was actually watching them avidly the last thing she wanted to do was disturb him.

“Amenadiel...” Linda prompted.

“Father asked me to bless a couple that couldn't have children...”

“What me and Dan?” Chloe asked, interrupting. 'Was Trixie not meant to be born, was that why I had all those health problems?' she thought. She sat down heavily on the chair.

Amenadiel looked puzzled for a moment. “No, your Mother and Father...”

“What!” Chloe said loudly again, then looked to Charlie and Linda. “Sorry, sorry, what?” Said more quietly. “And I had cancer?”

“Decker, forget about the cancer, maybe it was that eye thing,” Maze squinted her eyes to demonstrate some imagined eye problem, “or maybe your heart pressure...”

“Blood pressure.” Linda corrected.

“Yeah that one.” Maze agreed pointing her knife at Linda in agreement.

“Chloe, you are the miracle. I recognized your Mother when I met her... again...”

Chloe stood up again interrupting the explanation, “So I shouldn't have been born, except your Father, God, miracled me and I don't have cancer.” Chloe ran her hands up through her hair. “I'm sorry I'm going to need a moment then you need to tell me everything. From the beginning.” Chloe walked out into Linda's back yard and leaned over onto the glass pool fence. Holding her head, cooler palms pressing against her temples and the incipient headache.

'Lucifer I need you to come home. I don't understand anything any more... nothing is making any sense.' She thought.

**Somewhere in Hell**

Lucifer had never been one to micro-manage Hell during his first punishment as he had taken to calling it. The first time hadn't been his choice. This time it was.

As Lucifer walked along the paths he thought about the past. Hell mostly ran itself, the souls moving to the rooms unaided, the demons punishing unguided. He never questioned why they would be so enthusiastic to carry out the punishments. It was abundantly clear to him that it was preferable in the rooms decorated by the memories of the souls, than the monotonous homogeneity of Hell's towering pillars, ash laden air and the repulsive mud laden tracks that wove among them. The forests, fields, villages and then cities as remembered and imitated in the rooms were vastly more interesting than the shit-holeness of Hell itself. Hell was a place where time had no meaning. No day or night cycles to mark time, the sky a permanent overcast smoke and ash filled atmosphere that made navigation tedious. At path level there were few visible points of reference due to the pillars which blocked the view of the hills beyond. The high throne that sat proudly to the border near The Gates the most obvious way-point. While the entirety of the dead realm was called Hell, Lucifer thought of the pillared area when he thought of the name.

In the beginning after he Fell, he had tried to understand Hell. He had flown for what seemed to be days and days beyond The Gates, witnessing only flat empty desolate desert. With no ability to tell time he could only guess at how long he had flown. He had followed the rivers to their mouths. Flying for so long over tideless, endless water that he thought for sure he would die of boredom from the monotony of it all. Even far away over the vast still ocean the ash fell. The water was muddy, filthy and lifeless. He had traveled to the tributaries where the cave system in the surrounding hills that the truly ugly demons had sheltered in resided. By that point he had been desperate with hopelessness and full of raging, burning hate at his Father for punishing him this way. He had explored one of the numerous caves in the early days while he had still been healing. Demons that chittered around him in the dimness were repulsive to gaze at and he had left quickly. Each of the Nine Rivers sourced from underwater springs in the mountains above the hills. Behind those again desolate empty desert. Nowhere were plants or animals. The demons had devised a way to fashion items from ash and fire. Like Celestials they had no need for food which made Lucifer all the more repulsed when the ugly demons would talk of feasts.

Hell was perfectly formed for punishment and wholly incompatible with life.

Every non second was an eon. The span of existence Lucifer had experienced in Hell was small in comparison to life before his first punishment. Relatively however, the experience had seemed to be an unending, joyless boredom. There was no happiness, no satiation, no rest. It was the complete removal from family, friendship, love and satisfaction. He loathed it here. It was Hell. This dead, dark and lonely place.

Lucifer had existed, staying in an area that could only broadly speaking be called The Palace. Rooms that had long ago been fashioned by the demons for Lilith. Lucifer had ordered them altered and cleaned as much as was possible with the ash. For the Ten thousand plus Earth years he had existed in Hell traveling to Earth had been his only respite. His only way of judging how long he was in Hell. Most of that time the Humans seemed to stagnate in their cultures but the last five thousand had been the best and most exciting with rapid change noticeable each time Lucifer visited. Most times returned by a sibling, mainly Amenadiel. For brief days to weeks he had been able to see his stars, wash, eat, talk with the humans. Enjoy the comfort of soft and ash free lodging. Off course there was sex and drinking. But to be with people who he could talk with, even if just for a little while was what protected his sanity. To hear singing and music was delightful. But each time also becoming more morose as the vile lies about his character grew and he grew more angry each time a sibling had returned him to Hell. Each time he left and returned the discontent and jealousies among the demons and the infighting grew. He hated Hell.

It wasn't every time that a sibling would bring him back. Often there were short trips, just long enough to bring trinkets, cloth, tapestries. Some items that would one day be precious and valuable antiques. The humans he would sell them to could never appreciate that they were precious because those trinkets had kept him sane. Something beautiful that was real to look at among the desolation of Hell. As the technologies of Earth evolved he had scavenged candles, clocks, watches and finally batteries. Two candles of equal weight and size inexplicably burned at wildly different rates. Clocks stopped despite being wound. He had given up resetting them. Batteries lost their charge once they crossed to this realm. His phone with all his precious photos of Chloe drained with no hope of a recharge as soon as he had crossed over this last time. He couldn't bear to not have the comforting weight of it in his pocket. He liked to think at least the digital information was there even if he could not access it. He would find himself touching the outside of his pocket to ensure the phone was there and for brief moments dream about being able to call his Love.

The only managing Lucifer had achieved the first time around was in stopping the major Demon in-fighting disputes from the biggest trouble makers - The Lilim. They were the only ones who seemed to know what was going on, that he could have a conversation with so he kept them near. They had enough sense to understand but not enough to use it without his guidance and command. They were quick to anger and small transgressions quick to become blood feuds. Factions warring with other factions.

There were other demons, that appeared even less human-like than the Lilim, More broken looking, extra or missing limbed, too-many teeth in a too-small face. Ugly twisted creatures who quietly did their jobs but they would always scurry off when he was around. There was a smaller kind with too many teeth and twisted grabbing hands who moved four limbed with a chitinous sound as their claws tapped on the ground. For the first few hundred years they had kept trying to touch him. They would only leave on his order or when Maze or another Lilim was around. Maze said it was because they were scared of the Lilim for being superior. In the beginning it was because of them that he had ordered Maze to be his guard. At least then he didn't have to worry about them running up to him and touching him.

One of the small twisted ones scurried past as Lucifer walked on.

“What is the name of this place?” Lucifer asked the ugly little Demon that was not fast enough to escape the question.

“Me?” The meek demon said as his eyes darted around and there didn't seem to be any one else closer, “My King.” he added realizing who he was speaking with. The King never spoke with The Small Ones.

“Yes you, do you see any one else around?”

The meek one looked around and saw the eyes of another Small One peeking around the tower behind The King.

“No,” he said, meekly, “No!” More loudly, “My King.”

Lucifer took a deep breath of the ash laden air. “What is the name of this place?”

“Hell, My King.” the meek one said crouching lower. Puzzled, surely The King must know this.

Lucifer rubbed his eyes, Dromos and Squee had told him from early on that the small ugly demons were imbeciles who lived in caves. After a few conversations like this in the beginning, he had begun to be grateful that they always scurried off when Maze was around. They did their duties in the rooms and were loyal but he was glad conversation wasn't a requirement. Talking with them was so tedious.

“What is the name of this area of Hell?” Lucifer indicated the dismal locale over-shadowed by the towers that were ever so slightly taller in this area than the surrounding parts with a sweep of his hand.

“Oh” the small demon said adding more o's than necessary.

“Well,” Lucifer slowly closed and opened his eyes, “what's it called?”

'How does The King not know?' the Small One, wondered. “Nakashi.”

**Nakashi, Hell**

“Longshoreman!” Lucifer laughed, having automatically translated the name from the Japanese. This area was far from any of the Nine Rivers. It made no sense. “Who thought Nakashi was a good name?”

The Small One crouched lower, it wasn't good when the King or The Lilim laughed. “Not Nakashi, Na-kashi. Na Kashi.” The small one crouched down further. It was not good to correct The King, or to even talk to The Lilim. “The Old Ones called it.” He added.

“Na Kashi, ...Glyphs? no, ...Not Shining!” Lucifer looked around, well that certainly described this area. More shadowed than other places due to the slightly taller pillars. Using Sanskrit, a 5000 year old language to describe a place was the most interesting thing he'd heard about Hell in a Millennia. “What was it called before Nakashi?”

“Always Nakashi to me.” The Small One said standing up a little taller, he could see there were now two sets of eyes peering around the side of the pillar behind The King.

“Who changed the name, The Lilim?”

“No, not Lilim, The Old Ones... My King.”

“The Lilim are not The Old Ones?”

“NO! My King! The Old Ones are The Old Ones and The Lilim are The Lilim.”

Lucifer was getting a headache, he used the heels of his hands to rub his temples and took a deep breath. “The Lilim and The Old Ones and The Small Ones are demons, yes?”

“Yes, My King.”

“And why aren't The Lilim and The Old Ones the same?” Maze and Dromos had always told him the Lilim where the leaders, stronger and more intelligent. Nothing had ever lead him to doubt that assessment. The Lilim were certainly easier to speak with than this runt.

The little Small One was starting to feel tested and very uncomfortable with talking with The King. He wished that he had listened more to the Old Ones who said to run away when you see The King or The Lilim in person. “My King, The Lilim are the Demons of Lilith. The Old Ones and the Small Ones are Demons of The Great Father.” The Small One scurried back and lowered his eyes to the ground when he saw the thunderous expression on the The King. The Old Ones said never be near The King when he is angry.

“What?!” Lucifer's hands clenched into fists. Off course his Father had created this realm and the Demons but Maze and the others had always said that the true Demons hated his Father as much as he did. “Speak! Do the Old Ones and the Small Ones obey my Father?”

“Off... off course My King, He is The Great Father” the Small One crouched as close to the ground as he could terrified now of The King. He could taste the hesitant uncertainty coming from him. It was delicious. Confusing.

Lucifer unclenched his hands and ran them through his hair again. The runt was now flat on the ground prostate with fear and trembling.

“Get up!” Lucifer ordered. The runt rose up onto his knees. “What's your name?”

“M...me?” The Small One asked, puzzled. “My King.” He added quickly, not meaning disrespect, just not expecting to be asked.

'Here we go again, they really are imbeciles these Small Ones'. “What is your name?”

“Me...zel. My King, Meezel.”

“Meezel?”

“Yes, My King. My Old One calls me Pox!” Pox smiled.

Maybe it was the saw tooth smile, maybe the tilt of the runts head. But Lucifer had a sinking feeling. “Your Old One, not 'A' Old One?”

“Yes, My Old One. My King”

“How old are you Pox?”

“Um, one-twentieth of The Great Night. My King.” Pox smiled “Around and about.” He added. After all, after a time being exact about age didn't matter any more.

“What is a Great night?” All the time in Hell Lucifer had never heard that term before.

Pox was truly puzzled The Great Night was the Great Night. It just was until it wouldn't be. His forehead crinkled. He looked up and pointed. “The Great Night. My King.”

Lucifer looked up, all he saw was ash. “How do you know your age in relation to the... the Night if Demons don't have time?”

Pox got that horrible being tested feeling again. “Time?” Pox asked, Lucifer nodded. “Yesterday is Yesterday, Today is Today and Tomorrow is Tomorrow, My King.”

“How do you know, how do The Lilim, The Old Ones and the Small Ones know the time?” He had never once heard it referenced outside of his vacations and in discussions with Maze who understood about time on Earth. But he'd had to explain how the days and nights worked that very first visit to Earth after she had witnessed the day and night and day again.

The souls in the rooms experienced different moments of life like a drowning person, years of memories condensed into moments. No two souls Hell Loop experience were coordinated. Night in one room was day in another. One persons mid 1600's experience was played out the same time as another's Bronze age life experience. Outside the Rooms Hell was always dark.

“The Old Ones and The Small Ones can taste it in the air, My King”

“And the Lilim?”

“They are of Lilith, My King”

Over ten thousand Earth Years Lucifer had thought he knew what that meant. “Alright Pox, back to the long night...”

“The Great Night, My King”

“Yes,” Lucifer said waving his hand in a 'get on with it motion, “how do you know how old you are in relation to The Great Night, if it hasn't finished yet?”

“We can taste it, My King”

“When will it end? This infernal ash?”

“The Ashes Of Lilith? My King?”

It was intensely frustrating. Talking with the runt was like talking with a... a child. He had that sinking feeling again and it felt like an earthquake The Small Ones. The ones The Lilim had claimed are stupid. The ones he'd kicked out of the way as he had walked past in times of fury during his long existence in Hell. Maze and the other Lilim had always said that they could not have children. That Demons, The Lilim were eternal until death. Had she lied or had she not known? Pox was obviously young, a child. The Small Ones were children. They were children. Hell had children. Lucifer had always known his Father had created this realm, but he had also thought that it was a place apart from all the other living, breathing worlds. A dead unchanging place in The Great Void. If this... world was living and breathing, it meant that it was one of the realms that Father loved. It wasn't a dead creation cast aside.

Lucifer sat down on one of the low steps near the door of the nearest pillar and elbows on knees put his head in his hands. For a moment he had an intense feeling of just wanting to go home. 'I don't understand anything any more... nothing is making any sense'.

**The Silver City, Heaven**

It had taken exactly as long as it had been fore-seen, or there about. But everything was good. At the moment. But as always these fleeting moments were brief and another dice needed to be proverbially tossed in order to keep The Order.

“Call for Raphael, Sabriel, Bareqel and Kemuel. I have a task for them on Earth, in a place called Florida.” Ishim and Hadraniel looked to each other and shared a pointed look for a moment before turning back to Father.

“Yes Father.” They said together and turned around to summon their siblings outside The Hall. When those four were called, together, it always meant something serious.

“What do you think is happening, Ish?” The last time the four had been summoned together Ishim had also been in The Hall to hear the request.

“I'm not sure but the last time it was to protect a Mother and Child on Earth.”

“Seems a bit excessive, doesn't it?”

“Last time Father said that 'They' were precious to Us.”

“That's odd, is that exactly what Father said?”

“Yes, precious to Us, as in all of Us, not just Father.”

“Must have been serious to send not one but four healers.” Ishim shrugged.

It had been serious. But after-all it had been good. Eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning. Someone makes fun of another person's panic attack.  
> Mentions of difficult birth and pregnancy in the past. All is well 'now'.
> 
> I hope that you are enjoying my story. Two more parts to go. I promise all will be well in the end, eventually. In maybe two weeks, or around and about.


End file.
